YOU'RE BACK! You just made my whole I don't know Life
[ she'd told anyone who asked (or sometimes people who didn't ask) that he'd gone home to say goodbye and tie up loose ends, but she's never been sure about that. it was a good enough story to keep her sane in his absence. ]
You mean I don't already do that? Way to wound me, Cash.
[ ha, way to wound him. the idea was for him to go home to say goodbye and tie up loose ends but gloss is an idiot and he can acknowledge that now. he decided to drag things out and— now he has his other reason. his hand rubs against the bandage against his neck. it's not bleeding excessively but he had told them to not heal it too much. ]
I could have picked it. I'm around the corner. Open the door so I can catch you in a hug.
[ she texts him back, sappy, even though she's going to see him in like 30 seconds. Gloss coming back is like having part of herself back - she's incomplete without him. she waits in the doorway, grinning like an idiot. Cash is even bouncing on her toes a bit when he comes into her field of vision, practically bursting with excitement.
years at the mercy of the Capitol means it's habit to visually take him all in at once, make sure he looks as well as he did when she left him. that brings everything crashing down at once. Gloss is hurt. things are not okay.
her smile falls and her head swims with a panic that she tries to keep herself above. ]
What happened? [ she opens her arms wide for a hug. she needs to hold him and convince herself everything will work out. ]
[ he thinks of texting her back, telling her that he loves her too and that he's here again for her ( and him ) but he doesn't. there's time for that when he sees her. his face breaks out in a grin when he sees Cash bouncing on her toes. he loves seeing her happy like this and it warms his heart to see her happy because he's back.
he feels like he needs to hold it because he knows he has to ruin it for her. the years at the mercy of the Capitol have instilled the same habit in both of them and his eyes follow hers and when she stops at his neck his shoulders visibly slump.
still, he gathers her up in his arms and squeezes as tight as he can. he doesn't want to pick her up— not right now but he can do the closest thing to it at this second. ]
I've got a new incentive. [ it's not an explanation, but it's as close to one as he's going to give before they actually are inside. ] Let's go inside. Sit down. My leg's bothering me. [ bugging him, like he didn't have an arrow in it recently. ]
[ she'd like to bury her face in the crook of his neck but she's afraid of hurting Gloss more. instead she returns the tight hug, head resting against his chest. holding him takes the edge off her anxiety but it's still an ache in her chest. ]
Okay. Yeah. Good idea. [ there's no reason to fake anything around her brother, so she doesn't try. she breaks from the embrace to usher him inside, carefully locking the door behind them. it's straight to the couch so he can sit and she can fuss over him. the fussing starts immediately: pillows, a blanket, and then as soon as she settles she pops up again to get him a glass of water. just in case.
her mini-whirlwind over for now, Cashmere returns to the spot next to him and grabs his hand. she laces their fingers together, just one more reassurance that he's back. her gaze doesn't leave him. ]
We don't win, do we? [ they hadn't planned to. the opposite, actually, with a particularly wound up Cashmere swearing between tears that if something happened to him that she'd find a way to lose. ]
Cash, [ he mumbles as she starts fussing over him. he doesn't want her to do this. she doesn't need to this because they're both grown and he's i>fine, he's alive. but if there's one thing Gloss knows about his sister it's that even if he tried to stop her she'd still probably continue to fuss over him. so he allows her to.
his fingers tighten against her before nods and just exhales quietly. ]
I'd say you might but I remember our promise. [ if something happened to the other, they'd make it so they lost. they're twins, you don't separate them. ] Arrow to my throat. After the arrow to my calf at the cornucopia. I don't— [ he stops himself before: ] I had gotten Wiress. Don't blame her for doing it. You know how she was with allies.
[ she squeezes her eyes shut, urging herself not to cry, for Gloss's sake. it feels a little silly to be upset over something she already knew was going to happen - had already happened - but it tears at her insides anyway. ]
I know. [ a defeated sigh. ] Oh, Wiress. [ she still can't look at him, not just yet. he's already predicted her anger at Katniss, and they're both very lucky Katniss isn't in Eudio right now because Cash doesn't know what she'd do. but they both know what she's capable of. she squeezes his hand tighter, relaxes her grasp, and squeezes again.
when Cash opens her eyes again she's not crying but her eyes are filled with tears so it's more of technically not crying. ] I'm sorry. [ sorry he died, sorry she can't keep it together now. ] It's not fair. After everything. We won. We won and we did everything we were told to do. It wasn't supposed to be like this.
[ did following him to the Games make them both targets for Snow? if she hadn't lied could they still be at home living more ordinary lives? ] You deserved better.
You're my twin. I've seen you worse. [ his fingers tighten around hers and he tries to give her hand a reassuring squeeze before he sniffles a bit. he's not crying and his eyes aren't filled with tears like hers but there's something pushing at the edge. emotions he'd prefer to keep down but they're still threatening to boil up to the surface. ] It wasn't but we won and no one told us about what happened after. I can't even say I'm surprised things went like this.
[ he mumbles under his breath. ] Should have known it would end up like this.
[ he shakes his head and uses the grip on her hand to pull her close to him, trying to make it so she's against his side so he can properly comfort her. of course then she says he deserved better and he sees red. ] No. You deserved better. We both did, but don't you dare tell me I'm the only one who deserved better than his bullshit.
[ she follows his lead and settles in at his side, still cautious of his wounds and not wanting to make it worse. how many times in their lives have they held each other like this, working out whatever awful shit had come their way? he'd been right that he's seen her worse - much worse - and she's seen him worse too. there's been plenty of bad but they've also been lucky to see the best in each other too.
Cash can feel him tense. she should have known it wouldn't go over terribly well to at all imply that she's gotten exactly what she deserved and he was along for the ride. but she'd said it anyway and it doesn't surprise her at all that he won't let it slide. ]
We deserved better. [ she agrees and then sighs and adds: ] I deserved better. [ sometimes she doesn't believe that. but she tries. ] You know - we finally got that. This? This is better. We can have whatever we want here. Families, real jobs, houses that no one bugged. All that stuff we always wanted we can have now. [ most of it, anyway. ]
[ he manages to tighten his hold on her as soon as she settles into his side. she may not want to make his wounds worse but he knows his limits. besides if she does manage to aggravate his injury he can deal with it. he's dealt with worse.
he tries to make himself relax as soon as she speaks. as soon as she says that she deserved better but he knows from her tone that she doesn't entirely believe it. but then she continues and Gloss can actually feel his shoulders loosening because Cash is right. this is better, this is their second chance free of any complications. ]
You're right, we can. This is— we can have everything we wanted. You and I could have a stupid double wedding with people we love and we don't have to worry about them dying or— anything like that. No strings attached.
[ that makes her laugh. he's always been good at that. ] I know you call it stupid but you're the one who keeps bringing up the double wedding. It makes me think you want a double wedding. [ obviously they're going to involved in each other's weddings but is a double wedding too far? maybe. ]
What do you want to do, now that you're back? Not right this second. I mean big picture. Long term.
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text. probably last night?
no subject
I don't know
Life
[ she'd told anyone who asked (or sometimes people who didn't ask) that he'd gone home to say goodbye and tie up loose ends, but she's never been sure about that. it was a good enough story to keep her sane in his absence. ]
oh
Yes. I'll unlock the door.
no subject
[ ha, way to wound him. the idea was for him to go home to say goodbye and tie up loose ends but gloss is an idiot and he can acknowledge that now. he decided to drag things out and— now he has his other reason. his hand rubs against the bandage against his neck. it's not bleeding excessively but he had told them to not heal it too much. ]
I could have picked it. I'm around the corner. Open the door so I can catch you in a hug.
no subject
but don't pick my door.
[ she texts him back, sappy, even though she's going to see him in like 30 seconds. Gloss coming back is like having part of herself back - she's incomplete without him. she waits in the doorway, grinning like an idiot. Cash is even bouncing on her toes a bit when he comes into her field of vision, practically bursting with excitement.
years at the mercy of the Capitol means it's habit to visually take him all in at once, make sure he looks as well as he did when she left him. that brings everything crashing down at once. Gloss is hurt. things are not okay.
her smile falls and her head swims with a panic that she tries to keep herself above. ]
What happened? [ she opens her arms wide for a hug. she needs to hold him and convince herself everything will work out. ]
no subject
he feels like he needs to hold it because he knows he has to ruin it for her. the years at the mercy of the Capitol have instilled the same habit in both of them and his eyes follow hers and when she stops at his neck his shoulders visibly slump.
still, he gathers her up in his arms and squeezes as tight as he can. he doesn't want to pick her up— not right now but he can do the closest thing to it at this second. ]
I've got a new incentive. [ it's not an explanation, but it's as close to one as he's going to give before they actually are inside. ] Let's go inside. Sit down. My leg's bothering me. [ bugging him, like he didn't have an arrow in it recently. ]
no subject
Okay. Yeah. Good idea. [ there's no reason to fake anything around her brother, so she doesn't try. she breaks from the embrace to usher him inside, carefully locking the door behind them. it's straight to the couch so he can sit and she can fuss over him. the fussing starts immediately: pillows, a blanket, and then as soon as she settles she pops up again to get him a glass of water. just in case.
her mini-whirlwind over for now, Cashmere returns to the spot next to him and grabs his hand. she laces their fingers together, just one more reassurance that he's back. her gaze doesn't leave him. ]
We don't win, do we? [ they hadn't planned to. the opposite, actually, with a particularly wound up Cashmere swearing between tears that if something happened to him that she'd find a way to lose. ]
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his fingers tighten against her before nods and just exhales quietly. ]
I'd say you might but I remember our promise. [ if something happened to the other, they'd make it so they lost. they're twins, you don't separate them. ] Arrow to my throat. After the arrow to my calf at the cornucopia. I don't— [ he stops himself before: ] I had gotten Wiress. Don't blame her for doing it. You know how she was with allies.
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I know. [ a defeated sigh. ] Oh, Wiress. [ she still can't look at him, not just yet. he's already predicted her anger at Katniss, and they're both very lucky Katniss isn't in Eudio right now because Cash doesn't know what she'd do. but they both know what she's capable of. she squeezes his hand tighter, relaxes her grasp, and squeezes again.
when Cash opens her eyes again she's not crying but her eyes are filled with tears so it's more of technically not crying. ] I'm sorry. [ sorry he died, sorry she can't keep it together now. ] It's not fair. After everything. We won. We won and we did everything we were told to do. It wasn't supposed to be like this.
[ did following him to the Games make them both targets for Snow? if she hadn't lied could they still be at home living more ordinary lives? ] You deserved better.
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[ he mumbles under his breath. ] Should have known it would end up like this.
[ he shakes his head and uses the grip on her hand to pull her close to him, trying to make it so she's against his side so he can properly comfort her. of course then she says he deserved better and he sees red. ] No. You deserved better. We both did, but don't you dare tell me I'm the only one who deserved better than his bullshit.
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Cash can feel him tense. she should have known it wouldn't go over terribly well to at all imply that she's gotten exactly what she deserved and he was along for the ride. but she'd said it anyway and it doesn't surprise her at all that he won't let it slide. ]
We deserved better. [ she agrees and then sighs and adds: ] I deserved better. [ sometimes she doesn't believe that. but she tries. ] You know - we finally got that. This? This is better. We can have whatever we want here. Families, real jobs, houses that no one bugged. All that stuff we always wanted we can have now. [ most of it, anyway. ]
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he tries to make himself relax as soon as she speaks. as soon as she says that she deserved better but he knows from her tone that she doesn't entirely believe it. but then she continues and Gloss can actually feel his shoulders loosening because Cash is right. this is better, this is their second chance free of any complications. ]
You're right, we can. This is— we can have everything we wanted. You and I could have a stupid double wedding with people we love and we don't have to worry about them dying or— anything like that. No strings attached.
no subject
What do you want to do, now that you're back? Not right this second. I mean big picture. Long term.