[ gee Annie it's almost like you know something Cashmere doesn't, like that she and everyone she ever cared about is dead! you wouldn't know anything about that, would you? ]
[ annie doesn't really know how to run the show. finnick's always been better at the pomp and circumstance, making arrangements, sending her on missions while he prepares. she ends up pulling out all kinds of food at drink available from those snap pea chips to random bottles of alcohol on hand. she doesn't drink that much, which is why they're only half full.
the door's open for cashmere to enter, where she'll find annie laying on the couch with a golden doodle as her pillow. ]
[ Finnick does like to make socializing an event, which is always fun, but sometimes a mellow evening is just what one needs. Cashmere let herself in, settling on the floor by the couch. ]
Looks like we weren't the only ones who missed you. [ she greets the dog with a scratch on the head. ]
Okay, so I've gotten chocolate covered potato chips, and some of that popcorn that's half cheddar, half caramel. Oh! and these. [ Cashmere holds up a store shopping bag with a few pints of ice cream. she takes snack time seriously. ]
[ annie sits up, alert, and marilla does too, ears perked even if it's difficult to tell under all that curly ginger fur. the dog scoots off the couch to investigate cashmere's offerings and annie leans forward with her legs dangling off the side. ]
Oh, I've never had that popcorn before – ooh, or that ice cream flavor.
I've been on a sweets kick lately. [ she laughs. absolutely not One's official victor diet approved. ] I recommend trying all of it.
[ Cash starts with her favorite: the potato chips. ] I'm glad you're back. We all belong here. [ but she does wonder -- ] Was... was there anything good about being there?
You deserve all the sweets in the world, [ annie tells her earnestly, finally allowing herself to truly smile. ]
I wasn't able to go back to Four. Neither was Finnick. [ whoa, hold on, getting kind of choked up again. her chin wobbles but annie manages not to dissolve this time, instead taking a deep breath and putting a few chips in her mouth instead. it takes her a moment. ]
[ her brow furrows. she knows what awaits them at home can't be good, but it's been out of sight out of mind for the entire time she's been in Eudio. Annie doesn't have that privilege anymore.
but she brightens when Annie mentions their marriage. ]
Finally! Not televised, I hope. [ that was the best any of them could hope for if they were allowed to marry in Panem - an insanely over the top television event. ]
[ but her smile is still soft at the vivid memory of being spun around the room by her husband. ] It was beautiful, though. I wore a green dress. He was perfect. [ it was probably the last happy moment anyone experienced before they truly waged war. ]
We got married in – we married in Thirteen, Cashmere. After they rescued me, Peeta, and Johanna from the Capitol.
[ it's hard for her to believe in Thirteen. Annie knows that, because she's a Career too. the Career districts are fed the same propaganda as the others but in places like One they cling to it as a means of survival. there is no Thirteen, and winning brings you unimaginable glory. she believes her friend because she can separate herself from those lies now, because she never would have believed in Eudio and it exists too.
it's what Annie doesn't say that speaks volumes. Annie. Peeta. Johanna. her own name is absent from that list. Gloss's too. she's mindful of emoting too much and smiles to hide any other emotion that might betray her.
ignorance is bliss, isn't it? ]
I wish you had a picture. You must have been beautiful.
Who else was in Thirteen? [ she makes her voice light, like it's curious conversation instead of it's true intention rooted in Cash's more destructive tendencies. ]
[ once annie was impressionable, but that had been ruined early in life. she is, by no means, an unusual victor in her rebellion and her unwillingness to be a star toy for the capitol. most victors don't have finnick to protect them, using himself and his own skills to ensure that annie never has to do what he does.
back then, annie had so wanted to believe in a secret district, something brewing beneath the surface, but she has never been a revolutionary. she's never marched towards the battles the others have. the only time thirteen truly felt real was when she woke up and ran into her beloved's arms. she can't fault finnick for not telling her the truth about thirteen but she wonders if she should have been 100% truthful about what she learned in her time away. perhaps it was too much, just as it had been too much for her after her rescue.
looking back at cashmere, she wonders if this will be too much for her too, but her life is here now. it's not in panem and annie hopes it won't be, lest she meet her true fate. ] Katniss, Peeta, Johanna –[ annie slowly ticks names off her fingers. ] Beetee, Enobaria.
[ ah. so it is exactly what she expected. the smile freezes on her face. so many years of practice smiling when there's nothing worth smiling about, and it's certainly helpful now. she doesn't want to upset Annie - her friend has been through more than enough - but Annie must be expecting some sort of reaction.
she mentally distances herself from that revelation so she can unpack it and her feelings fully in private. Finnick would recognize it instantly, and Annie also knows Cash well enough to see when the switch is flipped from from her honest self to her carefully constructed personality. it's her way of coping. they all have their own methods. ]
Beetee's something else, isn't he? Every time I've talked to him it feels like part of him is focused on the conversation and part of him is doing math equations so he doesn't pass out from boredom. Not because I'm not interesting, but because he's just that smart. He must have liked Thirteen.
[ she pauses and makes herself continue. everything is fine. ]
I've seen the videos. So - where is Thirteen? [ that's the safest question she can imagine right now. ]
[ finnick's reaction had been more honest, as those once perfectly constructed and polished parts of him had fallen away over time, the time they spent together in the safety of their bubble in the city. annie is perceptive enough to understand that this is to be expected of cashmere.
she never meant to be the bearer of bad news. she still doesn't know how to be one of the last survivors. ]
It was – it was alright. Better. He could work his magic there.
[ she pulls her knees up to her chest and hugs them tightly. ] It's closer to Twelve, further north east.
[ she tries to imagine it's location, with her loose understanding of geography based on what the Capitol told them and what she knows from the time she's traveled between districts. One is is close to the Capitol so trips are short and there's not a lot to see. she can mentally see where it might be on a map, but can't fathom what life would be like cut off from the rest of the known world. how do they live?
Cash wishes she could have seen Thirteen, if only to have more of the truth that the Capitol hid. she watches Annie a moment, then probes for another question with probably a safer answer. ]
So, the rumors are all true, then. Thirteen exists. There's a rebellion. I don't need the gritty, boring details - how could it get more interesting than you getting married.
Yes, [ annie doesn't hesitate in her response, leaning forward and folding her arms over her knees. ] They were one of the earlier ones.
[ bloodshed and death are part of their every day lives. as careers, they were meant to be desensitized to such things, but annie has never been able to shake what she has seen, never able to find her on/off switch when it mattered. she closes her eyes again, various images from recent events flashing through her mind again. instead of covering her ears, she simply hides her face in her arms. ]
You should have seen everyone trying to dance after several drinks. [ her voice is muffled when she finally does speak. ]
[ that gets though her defenses for a moment. she's proud, so proud of her people who had walked a thin line between obedience and hatred for so long. it's hard to be surrounded by symbols of beauty and wealth and have none of it be truly yours. rebelling is the right choice and she's sure it must have cost them terribly, the extent of which she hopes she never finds out. for now it's enough for her to be proud of her home.
when Annie changes the conversation she realizes her misstep and tries to follow Annie's lead. ] Enobaria? Drinking I can imagine, but dancing... Oh! What about Haymitch? Same thing, drinking but no dancing.
[ the world is still a place that makes her nervous, but less so, knowing that they were able to unite the districts against a common force. annie doesn't know much about country and politics but she at least knows that this is just enough to tip the scales. ]
Haymitch wasn't dancing but he did look sort of pleased, which was a change. He even politely turned down my request to dance.
[ that actually makes her snigger, hiding her face against her own shoulder for a moment until she replies, ] I think he tries hard at being disagreeable.
[ she doesn't blame him. he was once a sought after victor like them, he'd been especially hardened over time, taking comfort in drink. ] He can be okay.
[ as disagreeable and often smelly haymitch can be, annie can't argue with that. he was on their side after all, he was part of the group that set things in motion. it was also clear to her how much care he showed katniss, even if he'd never admit it.
she closes her eyes and smiles lightly. ]
Sometimes I wish I didn't know so much. Sometimes I'm glad I know what happens, too. So I could tell you, prepare you.
[ she nods. she understands. it must be a terrible burden to carry
those secrets, to be the survivor. ] I was never going to have a
happy ending. This - here - that's my happy ending.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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I'll bring the wine and something salty.
it must be weird, going back.
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i didn't like it.
and something sweet. just a little sweet.
[ sweet things usually help. ]
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Are you free now?
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finnick's out fishing or building something right now. it's just me and the girls.
[ it is good to be surrounded by their beasts again, sweet and untainted by the capitol and experimentation. ]
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on my way
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can't wait to see you
[ annie doesn't really know how to run the show. finnick's always been better at the pomp and circumstance, making arrangements, sending her on missions while he prepares. she ends up pulling out all kinds of food at drink available from those snap pea chips to random bottles of alcohol on hand. she doesn't drink that much, which is why they're only half full.
the door's open for cashmere to enter, where she'll find annie laying on the couch with a golden doodle as her pillow. ]
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Looks like we weren't the only ones who missed you. [ she greets the dog with a scratch on the head. ]
Okay, so I've gotten chocolate covered potato chips, and some of that popcorn that's half cheddar, half caramel. Oh! and these. [ Cashmere holds up a store shopping bag with a few pints of ice cream. she takes snack time seriously. ]
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[ annie sits up, alert, and marilla does too, ears perked even if it's difficult to tell under all that curly ginger fur. the dog scoots off the couch to investigate cashmere's offerings and annie leans forward with her legs dangling off the side. ]
Oh, I've never had that popcorn before – ooh, or that ice cream flavor.
[ this is how you treat a lady right tbh ]
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[ Cash starts with her favorite: the potato chips. ] I'm glad you're back. We all belong here. [ but she does wonder -- ] Was... was there anything good about being there?
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I wasn't able to go back to Four. Neither was Finnick. [ whoa, hold on, getting kind of choked up again. her chin wobbles but annie manages not to dissolve this time, instead taking a deep breath and putting a few chips in her mouth instead. it takes her a moment. ]
We did get married.
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but she brightens when Annie mentions their marriage. ]
Finally! Not televised, I hope. [ that was the best any of them could hope for if they were allowed to marry in Panem - an insanely over the top television event. ]
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[ but her smile is still soft at the vivid memory of being spun around the room by her husband. ] It was beautiful, though. I wore a green dress. He was perfect. [ it was probably the last happy moment anyone experienced before they truly waged war. ]
We got married in – we married in Thirteen, Cashmere. After they rescued me, Peeta, and Johanna from the Capitol.
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it's what Annie doesn't say that speaks volumes. Annie. Peeta. Johanna. her own name is absent from that list. Gloss's too. she's mindful of emoting too much and smiles to hide any other emotion that might betray her.
ignorance is bliss, isn't it? ]
I wish you had a picture. You must have been beautiful.
Who else was in Thirteen? [ she makes her voice light, like it's curious conversation instead of it's true intention rooted in Cash's more destructive tendencies. ]
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back then, annie had so wanted to believe in a secret district, something brewing beneath the surface, but she has never been a revolutionary. she's never marched towards the battles the others have. the only time thirteen truly felt real was when she woke up and ran into her beloved's arms. she can't fault finnick for not telling her the truth about thirteen but she wonders if she should have been 100% truthful about what she learned in her time away. perhaps it was too much, just as it had been too much for her after her rescue.
looking back at cashmere, she wonders if this will be too much for her too, but her life is here now. it's not in panem and annie hopes it won't be, lest she meet her true fate. ] Katniss, Peeta, Johanna –[ annie slowly ticks names off her fingers. ] Beetee, Enobaria.
[ her brow wrinkles. she doesn't continue. ]
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she mentally distances herself from that revelation so she can unpack it and her feelings fully in private. Finnick would recognize it instantly, and Annie also knows Cash well enough to see when the switch is flipped from from her honest self to her carefully constructed personality. it's her way of coping. they all have their own methods. ]
Beetee's something else, isn't he? Every time I've talked to him it feels like part of him is focused on the conversation and part of him is doing math equations so he doesn't pass out from boredom. Not because I'm not interesting, but because he's just that smart. He must have liked Thirteen.
[ she pauses and makes herself continue. everything is fine. ]
I've seen the videos. So - where is Thirteen? [ that's the safest question she can imagine right now. ]
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she never meant to be the bearer of bad news. she still doesn't know how to be one of the last survivors. ]
It was – it was alright. Better. He could work his magic there.
[ she pulls her knees up to her chest and hugs them tightly. ] It's closer to Twelve, further north east.
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Cash wishes she could have seen Thirteen, if only to have more of the truth that the Capitol hid. she watches Annie a moment, then probes for another question with probably a safer answer. ]
So, the rumors are all true, then. Thirteen exists. There's a rebellion. I don't need the gritty, boring details - how could it get more interesting than you getting married.
But - One rebels, don't they?
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[ bloodshed and death are part of their every day lives. as careers, they were meant to be desensitized to such things, but annie has never been able to shake what she has seen, never able to find her on/off switch when it mattered. she closes her eyes again, various images from recent events flashing through her mind again. instead of covering her ears, she simply hides her face in her arms. ]
You should have seen everyone trying to dance after several drinks. [ her voice is muffled when she finally does speak. ]
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when Annie changes the conversation she realizes her misstep and tries to follow Annie's lead. ] Enobaria? Drinking I can imagine, but dancing... Oh! What about Haymitch? Same thing, drinking but no dancing.
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Haymitch wasn't dancing but he did look sort of pleased, which was a change. He even politely turned down my request to dance.
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He's not so bad, when he wants to be all right.
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[ she doesn't blame him. he was once a sought after victor like them, he'd been especially hardened over time, taking comfort in drink. ] He can be okay.
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I'm glad you're back, Annie. You belong here.
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she closes her eyes and smiles lightly. ]
Sometimes I wish I didn't know so much. Sometimes I'm glad I know what happens, too. So I could tell you, prepare you.
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[ she nods. she understands. it must be a terrible burden to carry those secrets, to be the survivor. ] I was never going to have a happy ending. This - here - that's my happy ending.
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